


The Point of No Return

by jademac2442



Category: Criminal Minds, The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels & Guides, Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode s05e03: The Reckoner, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sentinel/Guide, Sentinel/Guide Bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 12:55:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6805441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jademac2442/pseuds/jademac2442
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Criminal Minds AU where Sentinels are known. Begins early season five. Hotch is back to work after Foyet's attack, and Reid was grounded by Hotch because he's not cleared to fly after being shot. There will be angst. And Slash. Sentinel!Hotch and Guide!Reid</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Point of No Return

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Observations on Sentinels and Guides in Victorian London](https://archiveofourown.org/works/224907) by [RyuuzaKochou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyuuzaKochou/pseuds/RyuuzaKochou). 



> “For some people, “the point of no return” [in love] begins at the very moment their souls become aware of each others’ existence.”  
> ― C. JoyBell C.

Hotch was annoyed. _At Reid_. He was not used to being annoyed at Reid, and the feeling rankled. Reid had begged to come along. He had said that he had a bad feeling about the case but he said but Hotch didn’t like feeling betrayed and Reid had lied about being safe to fly. Hotch was hoping that making Reid stay back would teach him a lesson.

Also, if he was right about the bad feeling, Reid needed to stay where he was safe. 

Hotch wondered if he should be concerned about his increasing over protectiveness toward the young guide. Hell, he was currently wondering if the guide was supposed to be _HIS_ guide. At least, his when he came online.

It was a moot point. He wasn’t online.

He sighed. It wasn’t like it was something he could have. He sighed again as he remembered his words from long ago. _What I want, I’m not going to get._

Reid was sixteen years younger, and ferociously intelligent. He was also one of the strongest guides ever recorded. And he spends his life at the BAU. Reid did not need to be saddled with a old, broken down,over protective, latent man who had no sense of personal boundaries. Reid deserved someone better. Someone spectacular. A full alpha sentinel, at least.

Hotch had been latent for most of his life, but no one had ever been sure that he’d come online. Not with all the abuse in his childhood. It was really looking like it wasn’t likely. Everyone thought if it were going to happen, it would have happened during Foyet’s attack on his person, but it hadn’t. Several doctors had thought Hotch might be close to coming online now, but thus far, nothing had happened. And Hotch hadn’t noticed any difference in his senses.

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose. The headaches were becoming more frequent. Everyone he knew was telling him that he should not yet be back to work. That he should be resting. Hotch didn’t know how to explain to other people that sometimes, this was resting. His job was what allowed him sleep at night, not just what kept him up at night. As he relaxed into his seat, he prayed that the case would be a quick one.

*************************************

Reid was wet, cold and annoyed. He crutched slowly across the wet parking lot and down the street. The metro stop was not far from the building but it was far enough to be really annoying when on crutches… in the rain. Since he had gotten shot, everything felt like it took hours where it used to take seconds.

That wasn’t to say that he wasn’t making good time. He was starting to get the rhythm of the damn things, if they would only stop killing his under arms, he could do a lot better of a job. Right now, he just wanted to be home. In a hot bath. Cup of coffee. Then the couch. Maybe a fire in the fireplace. And a book. A couple of books.

He crutched through a puddle by accident and soaked the side of his pants and one of his socks.

He shivered. Definitely a fire.

He was always cold here. Vegas only had one season, and it was way warmer than this. Reid missed the heat all the time. It was part of why he always bundled himself into so many layers.

He’d be warm soon. He just had to get home.

His barriers were tight, so that was a small mercy, but his head had been killing him since this day started. God, he hoped he found his Sentinel sometime soon. He wanted desperately to be held. To be comforted. To be loved.

He was trying hard not to be angry at Hotch. He knew why the other man had grounded him. Reid wasn’t cleared to fly. He was barely cleared to do paperwork. But Reid had had a bad feeling and he wanted to be with his team. He felt like they were safer when they were all together, both for his and for their sake.

Plus, Reid had been feeling a bit clingy since he had gotten shot, and he hadn’t really wanted to be alone. But Hotch hadn’t wanted Reid with them this time.

Reid sighed.

He was not sure that Hotch ever really wanted him around. But no, no that wasn’t fair. Reid knew that the other man liked him, but he wasn’t sure that the other man liked him…like that. Reid had been in love with Hotch… for a long time. But the other man was straight, and not a sentinel. At least, not yet.

But still Reid liked being near Hotch, especially now, when he was wounded. He liked being with his team. It was comforting, warm and familiar.

Reid had tried to explain about his premonition-Reid had a really bad feeling about this case, but Hotch hadn’t been of a mind to listen. So Reid crutched on alone. Garcia had offered to drive him, but Reid had refused. He usually got on extremely well with Garcia, but today, he couldn’t wait to get away from the other guide. He’d had enough of pushy people today.

He’d had enough of people in general today.

Reid was always quiet about it, but he was one of the most powerful guides in the country. He’d had to be. He’d come into his gifts early, and had to guide his sentinel mother through the abandonment of her guide when his father abandoned them for his mistress. But people always treated Spencer like he was an annoying younger brother. Never like he was an adult, and right now, he just wanted to be the hell away from anyone else.

The vague feeling of impending trouble intensified, and Reid crutched faster, thinning his barriers a bit to scan for people around him. He reached out with his mind and called his spirit animal. The red wolf appeared beside him instantly, whining and licking his hand. Reid was comforted instantly as the wolf fell in step beside him. Red wolves were native to the desert in the West. They were taller and thinner than their gray counterparts, but no less intelligent, with a problem solving ability that was equal to that of a fox’s. Reid had always liked how much he felt the animal suited him. As he felt the touch of the wolf’s tongue, he allowed himself to relax just slightly.

He could see the gate to the metro stop. Good. Almost there. Warmth. Soon.

The attack came out of nowhere. He felt, more than saw, someone run toward him from behind. Reid had time to turn toward them balancing on his good leg, dropping one of the crutches so that he could go for his gun, when the other man barreled into him. He fell sideways, the bad knee buckling as he fell. He struck his head as he fell, the wind knocked out of him, and Reid fought a panic as he struggled to see and to breathe. He noticed strangely that he had landed in a puddle, and that his sweater and coat were soaking wet. Reid fought to get his breath, spitting muddy water. His assailant recovered first and rolled as they struggled for control. Reid had managed to keep a hold on one of the crutches as he fell and swung it hard in the direction of the other person’s head. It connected briefly, bent, and after a brief struggle pulled out of his hands. Reid heard a gun safety click off beside his head, and realized that the faint buzzing in his head was coming not just from his head pain but from the multiple other people that he could feel brushing against his barriers.

With a last desperate burst of his strength, he looked at his wolf. “Go. Go to Hotch.”

“That’ll be quite enough, Doctor” said a voice from above him, just before the barrel of the gun came down against his temple, as he watched the Red Wolf vanish.

His last thought was that it was probably going to be a while before he got warm.

********************************************

For no reason at all, Hotch thought of Reid, and shuddered. After a moment, he pulled out his phone and whipped off a quick text to the young guide.“Everything all right?”

It went unanswered, as did all texts to Reid when he was in a strop.

He was probably still mad about being grounded. But Hotch was having trouble convincing himself of that. Reid might be angry, but he was professional. After an hour, Hotch tried calling Reid’s phone. Straight to voicemail.

Hotch went to bed unsettled and blamed it on the case. His sleep was fitful and restless. And if that night, he dreamed wolves, it was nobody’s business but his own.

*******************************************

The case had ended. Not the way that anyone had wanted, but it had ended. There had been too many deaths, and too many problems. The whole team was just desperate to get back to DC. They had been quiet as they bored the jet, everyone lost in thought. Hotch had taken one of the seats the back, wanting to be alone with his thoughts. He was still absorbed in thoughts of the wolf that had dominated his dreams.

He did not mind too much, however, when Rossi sat opposite him. Rossi was starting at a locket, at the photo of the woman who should have been his guide.

Hotch knew that Rossi probably needed to talk about it, and so asked him about the woman.

Rossi sighed, “I missed a life with emma because I became obsessed with the chase. the hunt.  
Hotch sighed.He’d heard this all before. “Dave he’s threatening people I care about. I can’t.”

“We’ll get Foyet, Aaron.”

Hotch was starting to get annoyed. He’d had this argument with himself so many times before. “Okay then, what’s your point?”

Rossi looked him in the eyes. “When all this is over, what are you gonna do to make sure you’re not a lonely guy wondering why you let the purest thing in your life get away?”

Hotch looked away. “You aren't talking about Haley.”

“Of course I’m not talking about haley. We both know who I’m talking about.”   
Still without looking at Dave, Hotch said, “I can’t. He’s not mine. He’s…too…..” Hotch trailed off.

”I know, but he wants you.” Rossi replied.

Hotch practically snarled, “And who would allow that? Him bonding to me. He’s got to be one of the strongest guides in the county. Let alone how he’s one of the smartest people alive.   
“Hotch, you have no idea how strong you are, how strong you’re going to be. Hotch when you come online, there will be an entire clan formed around you.” Rossi replied calmly.

Hotch blinked at him. “No there isn’t.” He was in no mood for jokes.

“I’m dead serious. You’ll have betas. but there’ll be no dispute for leadership in the region. Everyone is going to follow you. Easily. Eagerly. Morgan, Prentiss, and I can all feel you coming online. This isn't a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. And your guide is waiting for you. Also usually you have a better poker face than this.”

Hotch snapped his mouth shut quickly, he had no idea what Rossi was talking about. There was no way that any of that was going to happen.

His thoughts must have showed on his face, because Rossi sighed heavily and broke eye contact. “Will you at least promise you’ll talk to him?”

Hotch surprised himself with his answer. “I’ll talk to him.”

Rossi continued, “You could have a relationship, a sexual relationship, a platonic relationship, any relationship with him now. He wants you, you want him.”

Hotch, half annoyed, half amused huffed out, “What happened to the moratorium on inter office profiling?”

“Yeah, well I’m older and never played by the rules. That was Gideon’s thing,” Rossi responded, and they both laughed a little.

Rossi sobered and met Hotch’s eyes one last time. “He wants you. You want him. don’t make two people unhappy. He’s yours, Aaron. _Yours_.”

Hotch couldn't deny the feeling of happiness that thought gave him.

******************************************************

Plane. 8:30am, One hour later

 

Hotch’s phone rang, which was unusual. Garcia usually preferred to Skype when she knew that they were on the plane.

“Go ahead, Garcia” he answered.

“Bossman, do you know the location of our resident super genius?” She sounded worried? Why was she worried, Reid was there with her, wasn’t he?

Hotch sat up a little straighter. “Garcia, he’s supposed to be in Quantico with you.”

“Well, he was here yesterday, but he is half an hour late to work. I thought he might have gotten sick and called you about taking off.”

“No, he didn’t call ” Hotch tried his best to ignore the sinking in his stomach, as he remembered Reid’s bad feeling. and his own unsettledness from the night before.

“Do you think he’s just late?” she asked. Hotch could hear the doubt in her voice.

“No. Reid is never late. Eight years and he’s never been late.” The sinking feeling was rapidly progressing into nausea. “Garcia, find him.”

“Sir, I hate to ask, but he was pretty snippy yesterday. Is it possible that he’s feeling petulant….?”

“Just find him. Find him now.” Hotch snapped.

There was a slight pause as she searched. “No answer at his house, and his cell is…off, not pinging off tower off any towers, sir.” she said. Hotch’s stomach churned a bit more.

“Send some units over to house. probably nothing, but… “

“Just in case, I know,“ she said as she hung up.

“Call me back with any news. We should be landing in less than an hour’

No. Reid is never late. Hotch remembered the way that Reid had a bad feeling. The way he’d begged to come along. Reid who didn’t beg, and who’s hunches were seldom wrong.

Dammit.

The slightly uneasy feeling Hotch had had since the night before was rapidly becoming a dropping stomach nausea.

It felt like forever before she called him back.

“Sir, the Police report everything’s in order at the apartment. Bed made, books stacked everywhere. Landlord hasn’t seen him. Reid does not appear to have made it home last night. There was no messenger bag. No Reid.” She answered the other questions that she knew he would ask before he asked them. “No forced entry, no blood, no mess. He just wasn’t there.”

Steeling his resolve, Hotch said, “Garcia, see if you can trace the route he would have taken home last night. It’s just possible he stopped off somewhere. Secure the apartment, just in case.” He checked his watch. “We’ll be on the ground in fifty minutes. We’ll meet you at the office.”

Hotch turned to the team, most of whom were now awake and looking at him, none of them trying to pretend like they hadn’t listened in. He took a breathe and spoke, “Reid did not report to work this morning. Nor does he appear to have made it home last night.”

They nodded. JJ looked stricken. Morgan, as was usually the case when Reid was involved, defaulted to ferociously protective, angry and nearly feral. Rossi looked concerned, and Prentiss, who hid her feelings better than any of the rest of them, looked calm but determined.

Hotch continued, “At this point, we don’t know that this is anything, but Reid’s not answering his phones, and Garcia’s got LEOs securing the apartment. She is also trying to see if she can trace the route that Reid would have taken to get home last night. We’ll go from there”

Again, they nodded. Hotch had to admit, they were handling it better than he was.

**********************************

 

Reid woke to a blinding headache. He almost immediately wished he were still unconscious. He rolled to the side and tried to lift himself from where his cheek was stuck to the cold floor. He couldn’t raise his hands, which were tied behind his back.

He reached out with his mind. Nothing. Drugged. He couldn’t feel anything through the haze, except the pain. As he became aware the pain increased till he nearly vomited.

He couldn't block. Not anyone. His barriers were gone. They had given something to make him defenseless. They had to have. Whoever they were. He lowered his head to his hands and wished for something, for anything to stop the relentless press of minds against his own. He was in more pain now than he had ever been. He tried to open his eyes but found himself wincing so hard against the light, that his squinting closed his eyes anyways. He rolled over onto his stomach, trying desperately to ease the ache in his shoulders and arms. Anything that might calm the nausea in his stomach and the fire in his head.

 Hotch. Reid closed his eyes and wished for Hotch.

God, would his team even know that he was missing?. They weren’t due back till sometime tomorrow or maybe the day after…? Reid couldn’t focus. He lowered his head onto the cold floor in front of him. The mind numbing cold of the tile was something of a relief against the blinding pain behind his eyes.

Reid thought again of the latent sentinel he had a crush on. Hotch was latent, yes, but he would not be for much longer. Reid had felt the sentinel coming on line, could see Hotch’s increasing need for grounding. Reid probably should have told Hotch how he felt about him. Admitted it when he had the chance. But he’d convinced himself that Hotch wasn’t for him. That if the man was indeed meant to be a sentinel, he wasn’t meant to be Reid’s. Didn’t mean a guy couldn’t dream. He should let it go. It wasn’t like it was going to happen.

Reid should probably have also admitted that the bad feeling of foreboding he had had, wasn’t about the team. It had been about himself.

His head continued to throb. The pain at blistering levels, Reid could feel his eyes leaking tears. With everything he had, he wished for Hotch. He wished for his sentinel and with all his remaining strength, he wished they were the same. He wanted Hotch to be his sentinel. And then he mercifully let himself slip back into unconsciousness.

***************************************

Hotch allowed himself to blink in surprise when the wolf appeared next to him. He’d heard of spirit animals appearing to sentinels and guides, but it had never happened to him before.

The wolf had a reddish tint, and it looked a bit beaten down. Some of it’s fur was matted and wet; its eyes exhausted. It was tall and thin and looked almost like a coyote in appearance despite it clearly being a wolf.

Hotch stretched out cautious a hand to it, fully expecting to be snapped it. He wasn’t prepared for it to crawl into his lap and nuzzle his side. He wondered, just for a second, if this was his spirit animal. But as he sank his hands into the rough silky fur, he knew the answer. This animal was Reid’s.

Reid had sent Hotch his spirit animal. And as he wrapped himself around the fragile animal, his headache briefly, terrifyingly spiked as he noticed some faint smears of blood on the animals thick glossy fur.

And then everything suddenly….snapped into place.

*******************************************

 

The next time Hotch became aware of himself, he was lying on the couch of the plane and JJ was holding his hand and speaking to him gently. Her voice was low and melodious but he could not make out what she was saying. Someone was keening behind her and the sounds was shutting her out. As he became aware, he realized that he was making the noise. He stopped.

“That’s right, Hotch. Come back to us. We’re going to need you. Come back to us, Alpha.”

Hotch blinked and tried to sit up. He was gently pushed back down by Morgan’s hand on his chest.

“You okay, Hotch?” Morgan asked?

“Yeah.” Hotch said or tried to say. His own voice hurt his ears, and rapidly he clamped his hands over his ears..

“Dial it back, Hotch.” JJ said, reassuringly, just loud enough to be heard over his hands. She gently pulled his hands from his ears, and he felt like her touch must be bruising him, but he pulled hard on his mind, and forced himself to use reason. This was JJ. She wouldn’t hurt anyone, let alone him. She was a guide. She was guiding him.

Spencer’s wolf had snapped him online. He was a Sentinel now. And that could only be the case if… Spencer was his.

Spencer was his.

“Picture dials in your head, for all your senses”, JJ said. Hotch nodded. “Now turn them down, one at time, to reasonable levels.” When he felt he could do it, he nodded again. Hotch had been latent most of his life, and was familiar with the theory. He’d just never tried it before.

Hotch imaged the dials in his head, and using the same ruthless self control from all other aspects of his life, he wretched his senses into place. It was briefly a blinding disorienting, dizzying, nauseating change. And then everything went blessed quiet.

He sat up so fast the others gasped. He noticed the motion of the plane had stopped and wondered how long the others had been trying to wake him. He looked around, somewhat frantically.

It was Prentiss who figured it out, “We only just landed, Hotch.”

He nodded, and looked at JJ, who still had his hand in hers. “You’ve got the drive to Quantico to teach me everything you can.”

**Author's Note:**

> I started this for the Little Black Dress challenge, but I'm bad with deadlines and I work too much. Also, I haven't undertaken anything like this in years. It's been at least three years since I attempted a fiction with more than one chapter.
> 
> I'm a slow writer, accept my apologies on this.
> 
> I don't have a beta. There will be errors.


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